Have you ever noticed
that young children are never depressed, aren’t insecure about themselves and their appearance?
I see that they like attention, ask for love, are curious, amazed at what they see and don’t hesitate to ask for what they need. Not to mention their ability to make you laugh, be touched by the spontaneity and the love for everything around them.
When they are angry they will let you know, when there is pain they cry, and as soon as that has passed you immediately see them smile again. What I see is purity, love of life, devotion to the care of their parents, unconditional love.
Even when parents (unconsciously)
hurt them, they continue to love unconditionally. Children rather choose to connect it to their own behaviour: “maybe I was not nice”, “I have to do my best, then dad will be proud of me”, “if I don’t speak up, I won’t bother mom”.
The only people in whose promises you’ll trust with everything, your parents, can also slowly start to cause problems. What are you worth if there is nobody for you? This dependence and the love for parents means that concessions are made.
Often the child decides
that something is wrong with him and that he or she needs to change. You tell yourself things that make it easier to deal with your environment.
This is accompanied by a loss of who you really are.
What often happened is that children (unconsciously) start to believe that love is conditional. Often those conditions are experienced at a young age and you take them along with you, to your school days, where a lot is expected of you, of your relationships with boy- and girlfriends and so on.
As a human you have learned to forget and to not think about it anymore. That is what made you able to survive. Unfortunately, many of us experience the consequences later on. It is precisely pushing yourself out of fear of rejection or loss that keeps you in survival mode. You often see that in complaints such as insecurity, depression, anxiety, relationship problems, anger towards yourself or others, etc.
An essential part of life
is being connected with our inner child, where our original strength lies.
The place where we can find lost and crushed parts of ourselves, and where we can live from our true nature. When you can still give yourself what you need, dependence disappears and you can live more from love, pleasure, freedom and trust.
Healing occurs when the wounds that we have all experienced are cared for and learned from, so that we can grow as humans.
In my practice you are welcome to discover the added value of the way in which I work with the different forms of therapy to support you in this.
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